别跟平面设计师约会的50条理由
别跟平面设计师约会的50条理由
50 reasons not to date a graphic designer
（Designer – Mark Ryden）
1. They are very weird people.
他们是非常奇怪的人种。
2. There are billions of them in the world, like colors on the screen of your computer.
世上有千百万这样的怪胎，多得就像你电脑萤幕上的色彩。
3. They will analyse conversations in layers.
与他们对谈时，他们会像对待图层一样，逐层分析谈话的含义。
4. You will spend the day assembling furniture from IKEA.
你得花一整天跟他们一起组装宜家家俱。
5. They drink and eat all kinds of weird shit just because they like the packaging.
他们向来不管什麽都往嘴裡倒，只因为他们喜欢那些食物的包装。
6. They hate each other.
他们讨厌彼此(同类型的人)。
7. You’ll come out the last out of the movies because you have to see the full list of credits.
欣赏完一部电影之后，你会是最后一个走出影院的人，因为你得陪他看完演职员字幕才能走。
8. They can’t change a light bulb or without making a sketch.
他们换不了一个灯泡，或者说，他们得先画张草图才行。
9. They fuck up all the tables with their cutters.
桌子总会被他们的美工刀搞烂。
10. They rather study the paisley pattern on your outfit than listen to what you have to say.
他们宁愿研究你外套上的佩斯利涡漩花纹(变型虫花纹)，也不会想去听你说什麽。
11. They will fill your house with magazines and whatever is out there that has drawings.
他们会在你家堆满杂志，或者随便什麽有著图画的东西。
12. You never know if it is really an original or a copy.
你永远不会知道那是原版的还是仿製的。
13. They make collages with your photos.
他们会拿你的照片玩拼图。
14. They do not know how to add and subtract, they just understand letters.
他们不懂什麽是加法和减法，他们只认字。
15. They idolize people who nobody knows and speak of them as if they were his colleagues.
他们崇拜著没人知道的某号人物，聊起此人来彷彿就像他们是同事一样。
16. They take pictures almost daily and all are cut in weird shapes.
他们几乎每天都要拍照，并且都喜欢裁成怪异的形状。
17. They ask your opinion about everything but they do whatever they want.
他们什麽都要问你的意见，然后他们爱干什麽就干什麽。
18. Everything is left justified, right or center unless they arrive late.
什麽东西都要左对齐、右对齐，或是居中对齐，除非他们晚点了。
19. They hate Comic Sans with the same passion they love Helvetica.
他们狂热地讨厌著 Comic Sans 字体正如他们狂热地偏爱 Helvetica 字体一样。
20. They use iPhone for everything, because everyone has one.
他们用iPhone做每一件事，因为他们人手一台。
21. You can not decorate the house without consulting them.
你不能在咨询他们的意见之前就装饰你的房子。
22. They steal street signs.
他们偷走街头的路牌。
23. Always carry their hands painted with something.
他们的手总是染著某种色彩。
24. They buy dolls unfinished for them to paint.
他们买玩偶的半成品，就为了自己可以来上色。
25. Everything becomes something other than what it really is: cards as tickets, cards as …
任何事物在他们的观念中总不是事物的原本定义。比如说拿卡片当作门票，拿卡片当作XX等等。
26. When arguing, you will be nicknamed like the OSX spinning wheel (not affectionately)
当你们斗嘴时，你会被取个类似「苹果的彩色旋转轮」之类的绰号。（当然不是暱称）
27. Do not know how to dress without consulting the Pantone book.
不看国际标准色卡他们简直就不知道该穿什麽。
28. They hate Excel.
他们讨厌 Excel 这类试算表软件。
29. They read comics.
他们看漫画书。
30. They want to save the world only with a poster.
对他们来说做个海报就像是拯救世界的大事。
31. You will spend the day brainstorming.
你会花一整天来和他一起做脑力激盪。
32. On vacation they will take you to countries that you do not know exist and have no beach.
他们会带你去你从没听说过的国家度假，而且保证是个你找不到海滩的地方。
33. Museums are their second home.
博物馆是他们的第二个家。
34. They know more positions than the Kamasutra.
他们想得到的姿势比印度爱经都多。
35. They can’t go to a restaurant without secretly critiquing the menu design.
他们上餐厅时总会私下批评菜单的设计。
36. They listen to music you have never heard of.
他们听你从没听过的音乐。
37. They can′t cook a normal dish, they always have to experiment with new ingredients.
他们不会做一道正常的菜，缘于他们总喜欢尝试新作料。
38. They read rare books: stories of children, Semiotics …
他们总看些奇怪的书：儿童故事、语言符号学等等。
39. When you are going to tell you something, everyone has read it in their facebook and twitter.
当他要跟你说什麽事的时候，你们所认识的所有亲朋好友都会从他们的脸书和推特上看到。
40. They have own iPods before you knew they existed.
在你知道iPod存在之前 他们就已经有了。
41. The orgasm they remember is when they heard that Adobe was acquiring Macromedia.
他们能记得的性高潮是发生在他们听说 Adobe 收购 Macromedia 的那一刻。
42. They have their own shops just for them and there are the most expensive in the city.
他们有固定採购的店舖，而那裡的东西往往是全城卖得最贵的。
43. They want to spend all the money in the Apple Store.
他们愿意在苹果专卖店宣佈破产。
44. You will never understand their gifts.
你永远不懂他们送你的礼物。
45. They see ordinary objects and laugh.
他们会看到寻常物件时开怀大笑。
46. You wake up in the middle of the night hearim them screaming 「When is the deadline?」
你会在半夜裡被他们惊叫「什麽时候截稿？」而吓醒。
47. They see CMYK and RGB like Neo sees the Matrix.
他们看到的 CMYK 和 RGB 如同《骇客任务》的 Neo 看待矩阵。
48. They dream of the day nobody will make a single change to their designs.
他们总妄想著有天没有人会改动他们任一的设计细节。
49. They rather pay for a font than for a special birthday gift.
他们宁愿花钱买字体也不会想去买份特别的生日礼物。
50. They are always sleepy because they work 24/7.
他们永远在想睡状态，因为他们每週工作七天，每天工作24小时。
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